Cool, Calm and Collected

Cool, Calm and Collected

(WBL # 8: Monroe-Gratis)

Thomas Brown snagged his 8th lifetime WBL win this past Saturday on the Hub-Hamilton Ryker I.T. Monroe-Gratis Classicwith a scorching final sprint after a textbook lead-out from his teammate and big-ring coconspirator Big Frank Travesio. At the terminus of the 90 mile, 4.5 hour day the Zealots were sent back once again to tackle the onerous Pink Church Circuit Loop, an 8 mile stretch of serrated blacktop that is guaranteed to separate the wheat from the chaff in a very short period of time. As the large front group tore around the detestable Pink Church loop, Big Frank guarded the front like a pit bull on a chain, holding all attacks in check and barking at Brown to stay glued to his wheel. On the final 1 mile run up the oppressive incline to the Pink Church finish line, the two speed peddlers executed their plan to perfection. Big Frank gradually built up speed all the way up the slope until he was sailing full tilt with 500 meters to go. Big Frank's rear wheel scored the asphalt with a burn strip he was flying so fast and he dropped Brown off 200 meters from the line. T Brown stood and kicked hard and surged, opening up a slight two meter gap over another speed broker, Brendan B.C. Cornett. After four furious, knee-knocking, chin-digging, spittle flying, chicken-wing-flapping kicks, Brown sat back down, lowered his head, and plowed ahead. He pedaled furiously for the last 100 meters and held off Cornett by a mere bike length. When he crossed the line he the crowd of over 1000 spectators went wild. Bill Boonen blew his kazoo. Brown's superb sprint win marked the fourth year in a row he has won a WBL event. Along with Tina Mayola-Pic and John Murphy, he is now one of the only three riders in the WBL's storied history to pull off such a feat.

In the hunt for Yellow, Overall Leader in the WBL 2013 Fletcher Paperweight Lydick once again held serve with another dazzling ride. Paperweight showed unprecedented poise, guile and strength for a 15 year old neophyte as roared to a impressive 5th place finish, winning the 1st place for the Non Pros yet again. Not only did Paperweight grab points at the end of the ride, he once again scored crucial points in the intermediate sprint too. Despite the constant requests for interviews and appearances on late night television shows, Paperweight remains cool, calm and in control, and he appears to be the man to beat in this year's race for gold. However, Erin Bone Crusher Winter, currently 2nd place in the Overall Standings, also picked up valuable points and kept Paperweight well within striking distance. Plus, Bone Crusher has a bad habit of knocking a man off his hobby horse just when he thought he was galloping away. As long as she remains close to the top, she will be a formidable challenger for the throne, and Paperweight will be forced to sleep with one eye always open. But T Brown, currently 3rd on the leaderboard, grabbed big points this past Saturday in his quest to win an unparalleled fourth Overall Title in a row. T Brown's point push at this stage in the game seems eerily similar to last year's and he seems poised to make another run for the Overall win. But there are plenty of protagonists within striking distance, and over the next four weeks they'll be looking to throw Paperweight into the briar patch. But don't be surprised if Lydick, just like Brer Rabbit, can extricate himself from most any thorny thicket.

Even though during the week leading up to the WBL event the rain pelted the pavement and gray clouds blanketed the sky, once again the weather gods proved to be a friend and not a foe in WBL 2013. The inclement weather hurried eastward as Saturday approached leaving a picture-perfect, cobalt blue dome in its wake—there wasn't a cloud in the sky. And thought the temperature was a frosty 38 degrees when the pack of 80 or 90 Zealots set off on the day's misadventure to Monroe, within three pedal strokes (okay thirty) the group was warm and toasty as the beneficent rays of Old Sol warmed their bones. But the warmth created a false sense of security that the world was inhabited by kind, caring and selfless folks who would lay down their cloak for an old lady so she could step across a muddy puddle without besmirching her boots. However, the bubble burst only 12 miles into the ride when the group approached the first sprint of the day, the Bishop City Limit sign, a Non Pro, 1, 2 sprint for points and prizes, not to mention the millions in endorsements that roll in later. When the whistle blew, I realized right away that contrary to what I'd thought, this group was a group of heartless bastards who's stampede right over me if I got in their way. I quickly moved to the side.

The large group motored at breakneck speed down the chute into Bishop and a large herd of a dozen sprinters separated themselves from the rabble behind. These daring sprinters hit forty miles per hour with 500 meters to go. But the Show Stopper Damien Dunn showed he is firing on all cylinders and he hovered near the front, working as little as possible, but still pedaling close to forty, and holding his spot until 200 meters to go when the road tilted up slightly. At this spot, Show Stopper exploded out of the group and pumped his legs like two pistons working overtime. Show Stopper showed the strength of 5 men as he powered across the line and just barely held off the wily Lydick who was coming up hard. Another young 18 year-old phenom, John Butler, hammered over the line in third showing he is becoming a real threat to inflict major damage at some point down the road.

Non Pro Sprint (Bishop):

D Dunn: 3 pts
F Lydick: 2 pts.
John Butler: 1 pt

After the first sprint the group was in fine fettle for the next forty miles as they pedaled beneath the sun, which was glowing like a pricy golden orb. After the store stop in Monroe the temperature rose to 58 degrees, and the group sailed like gangbusters to the Ladies sprint. The Ladies would have to pay for their transgressions on this day as their sprint was at the 66 mile juncture and was over the Bear Creek Reservoir. Plenty of women had hurt Carney over the years and this diabolical sprint was designed with a little payback in mind. When the whistle blew ten ladies surged forward and tore down the fast, sweeping hill to the Reservoir and towards the finishing line at the far end of the bridge. Ashler Gruber, Mary Zider, Erin Winter, Morgan Patton and Catherine Peacock were just some of the ill-tempered shrews preparing to throw down as penance for all womankind. As the group of Ladies sprinted out of the last corner and sailed forward onto the bridge at a furious clip, Morgan Patton bided her time until just the right moment and shot out of the group like a torpedo to claim top honors for the sprint. Erin Winter and Mary Zider were not far behind and grabbed the final two spots for the gals.

Ladies Sprint:

M Patton: 3 pts
E Winter: 2 pts
M Zider: 1 pt

The group arced back north, cut over to Cane Creek Road, and angled onto the Jefferson River Road through a super-secret side entrance known only to a few old timers. As the group turned right off Jefferson River Road at Alligator Pond and entered the Pink Church Attack Zone, a large contingent of seventy or more pedal-bangers were still hanging on.

The group cruised at a steady tempo as it approached the Pink Church line the first time up the hill. The ladies were sprinting for the win and the men for a prime. The group cruised at a steady clip approaching the line and Zider kicked clear to take the ladies' sprint, followed by Patton, Winter, Frazier and Odea. T Brown also showed his cards and bolted away as the line came close and he won the sprint with his potent turn of speed. Show Stopper showed he is a sprinting maestro and followed close behind to take second, followed by B. Cornett in third.

Pro Sprint (Pink Church)

T Brown: 3 pts.
D Dunn: 2 pts
B Cornett: 1 pt

Ladies (Finish):

Mary Zider: 5 pts.
M Patton: 4 pts.
E Winter: 3 pts.
Zoe Frazier: 2 pts
N Odea: 1 pts.

After the sprint the pack on the Pink Church loop no one could shake free. Though several tried, T Brown and Big Frank guarded the front and made certain no one went too far. All attacks were brought back into the fold after only a brief escape. When the group hit the final right hand turn at Alligator Pond, Brown knew he had win number 8 in his crosshairs, and he didn't disappoint. The pace continually notched upwards as the group ascended the hill to the line until they were flat out flying with 500 meters to go. Big Frank pulled another 300 meters and T Brown closed the door from there. B Cornett showed he is back with a super 2nd place finish and A.C. the Bull Smith showed incredible sprinting prowess as he ripped in for 3rd. Hunter Garrison and Lydick rounded out the top five with stellar sprints of their own.

Finish (Monroe-Gratis):

T Brown: 10 pts.
Brendan Cornett: 8 pts.
A.J. Smith: 6 pts.
Hunter Garrison: 4 pts.
Fletcher Lydick: 2 pts.

Non Pro:

Fltecher Lydick: 5 pts.
Austin Ulich: 3 pts.
John Butler: 1 pt

WBL 2013 Overall Standings (after 8 events)

Fletcher Lydick: 54 pts
Erin Winter: 47
Thomas Brown: 43 pts.
Oscar Clarke: 39 pts
Frank Travesio: 36 pts
Damien Dunn: 35 pts
Brendan Cornett: 35 pts
Catherine Peacock: 34 pts
Zoe Frazier: 34 pts.
Morgan Patton: 31 pts
Tony Scott: 31 pts.
Scott Morris: 30 pts.
David Jordan: 30 pts
Thom Leonard: 30 pts
David Haney: 30 pts
Tim Lees: 30 pts
Reid Peacock: 30 pts
Benjamin Bryant: 30 pts
Jason Crosby: 30 pts.
Justin Smith: 30 pts
Phil Gaimon: 27 pts.
Namrita Odea: 29 pts
Frank Crumley: 28 pts
Parker Haney: 27 pts
John Butler: 27 pts
Russ Foster: 26 pts
Mary Zider: 26 pts
Austin Ulich: 26 pts
Craig Tinsley: 26 pts
Crowe: 26 pts.
Clarke Hurst: 25 pts / Michael Yprk: 25 pts
Blake Bradford: 24 pts
Eddie Odea: 24 pts
Hunter Garrison: 24 pts
Phillip Han: 23 pts
Sam Rafal: 23 pts
Robert Consaster: 22 pts
David Goodman: 22 pts
Jason Bewley: 22 pts
Kirk Mad Smith: 22 pts
Josh Pontzer: 22 pts
Maria Carrelli: 21 pts
Michael York: 21 pts
Tomas Petit: 21 pts
Joey Rosskopf: 21 pts
Matt Miller: 20 pts
Clay Parks: 20 pts
Autin Hilliard: 20 pts
Eric Murphy: 20 pts
Shannon Parrish: 20 pts
Brooks Lide: 20 pts
Chris Blackmon: 19 pts
Paul Harkins: 15 pts
Ty Magner: 18 pts
Jonathon Cucaz: 18 pts
Huntley Nash: 18 pts
Shannon Wrege: 18 pts
Livili Radli: 18 pts
Alexander Dijkema: 17 pts
Tina Mayola-Pic: 17
Cal Hootin: 17 pts
Brett Magner: 16 pts
Michael Waine: 16 pts
Dalford England: 16 pts
Chris Constantine: 16 pts
Chris Slone: 16 pts
Mike Edmonds: 16 pts
Nick Gastley: 16 pts
Darrel Farlowe: 16 pts
Chad Cappy: 16 pts
Nick Arroyo: 16 pts
Christian Dicenso: 15 pts..
Yo Simpson: 14 pts.
Don Newman: 14 pts
Rob Butler: 14 pts
Dustin Mealor: 14 pts
Nick Oestrich: 14 pts
A.J. Smith: 1 4 pts
Casey Magner: 12 pts
Eddie Hsu: 12 pts
Winston David: 12 pts
Jeff Shirey: 12 pts
Keenan Howard: 12 pts.
Joe Dunlop: 12 pts
Iona Parks: 12 pts
Brian Molloy: 12 pts
Michael York: 11 pts
Nick Frazier: 11 pt
Michael Trivette: 11 pts
Nick Fragnito: 11 pts
Phillip O'Donnell: 11 pts
Tony Robinson: 11 pts
Ceci Crowe: 11 pts
Greg Brown: 11 pts
Luke Broadwell: 11 pts
Big Cappy: 10 pts.
Jordan Heimer: 10 pts

The Skills to Pay the Bills

(Philomath: WBL # 7)

The Big O Oscar Clarke proved that his first WBL victory was no fluke as he scored another brilliant win on the Ken Bike Law-Blind Dog Bread Philomath Classic, a 90-mile, 4.5 hour big ring blitzkrieg into and beyond the far reaches of the eastern quadrant of the Emporium. The Big O launched a blistering counterattack with 1.5 miles to go in the demanding Gene Dixon Final Attack Zone after Phil the Thrill Gaimon was finally brought to heel. The Thrill had been off the front on a solo bid for glory for nearly 8 miles, pedaling like a wild lunatic who was off his medication and throwing caution to the wind. The Thrill survived five out of six of the monster hummocks in the Attack Zone, inflicting massive carnage in the pack of over 100 Zealots behind, as he ripped down the road like a fired cruise missile. When the Thrill won the USA CRIT Series sprint at the midway point on top of the hardest hill in the Attack Zone, the third, it looked like he might actually carry the bacon all the way home to papa. After all, just like Adam MCA Yauch, the Thrill can rock the block party 'til your hair turns gray.

But the powerful lead group of chasers behind also boasted a large gaggle of pedal-bangers quite capable of doing the two-step boogie. In addition to the Big O, the chase group contained such heavy-hitters as Winston David, Joey Rosskopf, Ty Magner, Frank Travesio, Isaac Howe, Fletcher Lydick, Thomas Brown, Benjamin Bryant, Reid Peacock, Andy Scarano, David Goodman and Jonathon Cucaz. And after an unyielding and relentless 8 mile chase led in large part by the Wrecking Ball Joey Rosskopf, Gaimon was finally captured as he took the final right hand turn onto Billy Melton Road. But the ferocious chase had reduced the front group to a mere dozen, each of whom was quite capable of savagery when it came to pedaling their bikes at high rates of speed. But after the Thrill was back in the pack, the Big O was the first to draw blood as he quickly cut bait and headed for the hills. Though he only had a small amount of blacktop between himself and the dozen behind, he put his head down and hammered like a hillbilly running from the Law. He opened up a tenuous but dangerous 3 second gap.

The Big O plastered his pedals and held his slight advantage for the first ½ mile, a relatively flat stretch of roadway before the parcours falls off a wall. At this point the cagey Winston David danced across the gap like a silver fox and made contact with the Big O with a masterful bridge. Though the two inglorious bastards only had a small gap of 3 to 4 seconds, they both recognized the golden opportunity and pedaled with a furious resolve. In the front group behind the two escapists, the Big O's partner in crime, Tytus Magner, was positioned near the front, licking his chops and slobbering like a chained-up pit bull, ready to pounce if the capture was made. But the two wily attackers held firm, though just barely. With 200 meters to go, the Big O jumped straight into the wind as the road tilted upwards to the finish line. The Big O opened a small space and pipped Winston David at the line. The two perfectly timed attacks by the Big O proved decisive and lead to his eventual win. Lightning indeed does strike twice and the Big O also showed that just like Mix Master Mike, he's got the skills to pay the bills. However, we are unable to either confirm or deny the salacious rumors presently swirling about his brass monkey and his boomin' granny.

In the Beginning

Record breaking warmth was the name of the game for 12 January 2013 WBL ride and over 100 Zealots signed in for dash for cash to Philomath. During the day temperatures soared to an unheard of 75 degrees and when the clouds burned off and Old Sol broke through several Zealots began peeling off their clothes. Unfortunately, once stripped of cover, the pasty white skin beneath was revealed in all its glory. The blinding brilliance of several dozen cyclists' white skin ultimately caused third degree burns to the pupils of several Zealots' eyes. The worst incident occurred when Team Blind Dog Bread el capo Mike Edmonds shed his legwarmers at the store stop. First, he sat down on the bumper of the sag car and rolled his leggings down in a seductive manner that suggested he was a Fleet Street hooker. The provocative performance was completely uncalled for, especially when he raised his right leg in the air and pointed his toes at the sky and said, "Oooh-la-la." I couldn't believe it—he was admiring himself with everyone around! The problem was that El Capo's long legs were so white that when the sun made contact with the two appendages, the whole sky lit up like a supernova at maximum brilliance. Many thought the astral luminous was of celestial origin, as if Edmonds's white legs heralded some sort of cosmic eclipse. But I knew better—that bastard is actually nothing more than the devil in disguise.

The group sailed east through Winterville like they were late for a date with a million dollar bill. And the group never let up until they crossed the finish line. When totals were tallied after the ride, the pack had completed the loop at an average speed of almost 22 miles-per-hour. This quick pace was due in no small part to the rapid tempo the Yo Simpson set as they sped out of town.

Once clear of Winterville, the Non Pros were sprinting for points and prizes early in the day. After only the 12 miles, the whistle blew at the bottom of a deep ravine in a forested flood plain. The sprint zone was a long 800 meter stretch that climbed out of the bottoms and up a slanting slope the entirety of the way. Almost at once the spit hit the fan. As the group scorched up the acrimonious climb, those in the best position were those who had not yet fired their gun. In this sprint zone good things come to those that wait. The line was so far away from the bottom of the hill that those that jumped first blew their stacks in spectacular explosions. Those that waited in the second row were now ready to double down. As the frontrunners neared the line the Showstopper Damien Dunn turned on the turbo blasters and scorched over the top in first, with the talented young buck Alexander Dijkema not far behind. Overall leader Fletcher Mayfly Lydick blew across in third to claim the crucial 1 point.

Non Pro Sprint (Beaver damn):

Damien Dunn: 3 pts
Alexander Dijkema: 2 pts.
Fletcher Lydick: 1 pt

The pack regrouped after the sprint, put the bit between their teeth, and continued the trek eastward, into the pale and towards the Ladies sprint. At mile 33, it was the ladies time to shine. The ladies' sprint was custom designed for a speed merchant—the sprint zone was a 1 kilometer downhill-sloping drag to the Wilkes County sign. When the whistle blew a potent pack of twelve ladies surged up the road. Included in this mighty flock were the sprinting gurusTina Mayola-Pic, Erin Bone Crusher Winter, Morgan Patton, Maria Carrelli, Namrita Odea, Mary Zider, Zoe Frazier, Catherine Peacocok, and Abigail Aldridge to name just a few. As the pace ratcheted upwards, the ladies were strung out and hanging on as they approached the line. (At least now they know how it feels.) Mayola-Pic jumped first but Morgan Patton was watching her like a hawk. Both Patton and Winter locked on to Mayola-Pic's wheel with Frazier glued on to theirs and the three ladies managed to come around Mayola-Pic at the line. The future truly met the present when little Zoe Frazier crossed the line in third.

Ladies Sprint (Wilkes County)

Morgan Patton: 3 pts
Erin Winter: 2 pts.
Zoe Frazier: 1 pt

After the ladies sprint and the store stop the group turned back towards home but this meant facing down the wind. And though the next 30 miles to the Gene Dixon Attack Zone is relatively flat, if the wind is howling it can make for a tough day. But even though the wind was whipping slightly, it wasn't actually blowing with much malice. As a result, the group sailed right along. The sun was shining and the pedals were rolling easy and the group was gliding along at 25 miles per hour with the greatest of ease. But miles, like vices, take their toll over time. Miles are a silent killer. Multiple miles sneak up on a rider. Usually it's too late when you realize that you're dead. That's what happened this day in the WBL. 30 miles after the store stop, as soon as the whistle blew, I grimaced in pain and said, "Uh-oh, both my legs are dead."

Within a short space, Phil the Thrill attacked out of the bunch. Thomas E.M. Brown followed. The pack behind eyeballed the two. The two escapees moved up the road towards the first of six hills. Their gap moved out beyond 10 seconds.

The enormous group behind motored at a fast and consistent tempo over the first two risers, but could not close the gap on the two off the front. And with the summit of each hill, a group became unhinged and fell away at the back. It would continue in the same pattern over each of the succeeding hills until in the end there were only twelve.

Heading up the third hill to the USA CRIT Series sprint, Gaimon pressed down on the accelerator. He wasn't just going for the sprint; Gaimon sought gold. Brown took second on the sprint and eased back and was scooped up by the first chase, which over the third hill had shrunk to 20.

USA CRIT Series Sprint

Phil Gaimon: 3 pts.
T Brown: 2 pts.
Hunter Garrison: 1 pt

After the intermezzo sprint the Thrill put his head down and charged forward. He powered up the fourth hill, the longest of the bunch, clocking in at a full kilometer. Though it's a gentle grade, if someone is pressing the pace, it can cause consternation and anguish behind.

Gaimon was in danger of pulling off a stunning coup and the alarm clattered in the group behind. The Big O went to the front on the fourth climb and set a wicked tempo. He closed on Gaimon. At the top as the group turned right On Beaverdamn Road, Gaimon's lead had shrunk to 5 seconds. The chase group was now reduced to twelve.

Rosskopf took matters in hand at this point. The Wrecking ball charged hard and after a 1 mile tug, the group finally made contact with Gaimon as he was making the last right hand turn onto Billy Melton Road 1.5 miles from the line. And though the attack did not succeed, later that evening, Carney raised his glass and toasted Gaimon for his brilliant foray off the front. The Carney drained his glass and asked for another.

After Gaimon was caught the Big O flew the coop. The group would never make contact with him again. Fletcher Lydick kept the Overall lead with another brilliant display of cycling prowess finishing 7th overall (1st Non Pro) on the demanding 90 mile day. Others with rides to brag about are all those learned souls who finished in the front group:

In the next group the ladies sprinted and Tina Mayola-Pic showed why she is the Grand Dame of sprinting as she outkicked E Winter at the line. John Butler crossed the line in the lead in the second group to take 3rd in the Non Pro sprint, a grand ride from another young star.

The Overall Race is as tight as it's been in years. Lydick remains in first but others are licking at his heels. (Complete Overall posted below.)

Finish (Pro)

Oscar Clarke: 10 pts.
Winston David: 8 pts
Ty Magner: 6 pts
Frank Traveiso: 4 pts
Thomas Brown: 2 pts

Ladies (Finish)

Tina Mayola-Pic: 5 pts
Erin Winter: 3 pts
Mary Zider: 1 pt

Non Pro (Finish)

Fletcher Lydick: 5 pts
Jonathon Cucaz: 3 pts
John Butler: 1 pt

2013 Overall

Fletcher Lydick: 43 pts
Oscar Clarke: 39 pts
Erin Winter: 38
Frank Travesio: 32 pts
Tony Scott: 31 pts.
Catherine Peacock: 30 pts
Justin Smith: 30 pts
Zoe Frazier: 28 pts.
Phil Gaimon: 27 pts.
Scott Morris: 26 pts.
David Jordan: 26 pts
Thom Leonard: 26 pts
Benjamin Bryant: 26 pts
Tim Lees: 26 pts
Jason Crosby: 26 pts.
Reid Peacock: 26 pts
Damien Dunn: 26 pts
David Haney: 26 pts
Thomas Brown: 26 pts.
Clarke Hurst: 25 pts
Frank Crumley: 24 pts
Parker Haney: 23 pts
Phillip Han: 23 pts
Russ Foster: 22 pts
Craig Tinsley: 22 pts
Brendan Cornett: 22 pts
David Goodman: 22 pts
Crowe: 22 pts.
Josh Pontzer: 22 pts
Maria Carrelli: 21 pts
John Butler: 21 pts
Michael York: 21 pts
Joey Rosskopf: 21 pts
Morgan Patton: 20 pts
Eddie Odea: 20 pts
Blake Bradford: 20 pts
Austin Ulich: 19 pts
Sam Rafal: 19 pts
Ty Magner: 18 pts
Kirk Mad Smith: 18 pts
Jonathon Cucaz: 18 pts
Shannon Wrege: 18 pts
Robert Consaster: 18 pts
Livili Radli: 18 pts
Tina Mayola-Pic: 17
Cal Hootin: 17 pts
Tomas Petit: 17 pts
Brett Magner: 16 pts
Chris Blackmon: 16 pts
Michael Waine: 16 pts
Chris Slone: 16 pts
Matt Miller: 16pts
Hunter Garrison: 16 pts
Eric Murphy: 16 pts
Namrita Odea: 16 pts
Clay Parks: 16 pts
Shannon Parrish: 16 pts
Autin Hilliard: 16 pts
Mary Zider: 16 pts
Chad Cappy: 16 pts
Nick Arroyo: 16 pts
Brooks Lide: 16 pts
Paul Harkins: 15 pts
Christian Dicenso: 15 pts..
Huntley Nash: 14 pts
Don Newman: 14 pts
Rob Butler: 14 pts
Dustin Mealor: 14 pts
Nick Oestrich: 14 pts
Alexander Dijkema: 13 pts
Casey Magner: 12 pts
Mike Edmonds: 12 pts
Dalford England: 12 pts
Winston David: 12 pts
Joe Dunlop: 12 pts
Iona Parks: 12 pts
Chris Constantine: 12 pts
Brian Molloy: 12 pts
Nick Gastley: 12 pts
Nick Frazier: 11 pt
Michael Trivette: 11 pts
Nick Fragnito: 11 pts
Ceci Crowe: 11 pts
Greg Brown: 11 pts
Yo Simpson: 10 pts.
Big Cappy: 10 pts.
Jordan Heimer: 10 pts