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WBL #11 The Parks Law Lula World Cup
[109 miles. 20.5 mph]
The end. Finito. Dunzo. Time to move on. Let’s go on. Leaving now.
The finale of this year’s WBL: the Parks Law Lula World Cup. Lula has the ability to lobotomize even the brainless. It sucks all the thoughts out like a vacuum. That’s why we put it at the end. We simply cannot go on past it. It would be brainless and pointless. Humble here has no other thoughts other than the musings below. The muse did indeed show up today and boy did she give us what we needed. A cloudy but warm February day greeted the worn, but not weary group of Zealots as they undertook another journey to the most northern high part of the empire. Once again climbing the Cherokee ridge to the sky by way of Moccasin Gap. The climb to the peach orchards lining the high reaches of the gap ushers one in with the sweet smell of that yellow peach flesh. However, at the top that sweet peach turns on lobotomizing vacuum and sucks it all out. Notwithstanding, little Brick Dangerblade and California Dreamin Magner screamed their ways to victory atop the famed gap.
Gruber Images Moccasin Gap Pro:
1. Thick as a Brick Dangerblade
2. Candy Aandy Scarano
3. Gutcheck
4. Ruhe the Day
5. Cool Hand Luke Harris
Gruber images Moccasin Gap Ladies
1. California Dreamin No Mo
2. Jenny Jen Jen
3. Assassin Gruber
4. Izzie Pop Harden
5. Dana Walton
Gruber Images Moccasin Gap Non Pro
1. Gutcheck
2. Ruhe the Day
3. Cool Hand Luke Harris
4. James Noori Easter
5. G-Force Grainy
The Final Attack Zone for the Parks Law Lula World Cup and indeed the 2024 other season saw a true rogue's gallery bolt from the group in a bid for glory only to be thwarted by a rampaging group of flying misfits behind. The first to tamp down on his pedals in a rude and obstinate way was one of the WBL's main instigators this season, Michael the Bully Sanders. Sanders leapt away on the first ascent of the grueling Pink Church Incline and pushed-out to a 20 second gap as he gyred down Corkscew Hill on the backside of the vicious 8-mile Pink Church Loop. But on the steep wall on the other side, the slobbering, ravenous, frenetic chase ran him down behind the impetus of Julien Ruhe the Day and the eternal pack drover, Gutcheck Gruber, like he was nothing but a mangy dog. Candy Man Scarano was the next to fly but he was quickly gobbled up, allowing the Ageless Wonders Pat Rainman and Brad Good Hope Parkerson to counter and open a gap as the pack momentarily hesitated, a potentially deadly reaction to these two well-established assassins. Flying down the fast and flowy contours of J Riviera Road, the two escapees worked flawlessly and held their gap at 15 seconds. But the amazing young talented teenager Julien Ruhe the Day jumped clear behind, and in a heroic, gut-busting two-mile chase, made contact with the two frontrunners as they took the final righthand turn beside Alligator Pond. With 1 mile to go, a cruel pitch of blacktop was all that remained between these three protagonists and paydirt. But the Pink Church Incline has dashed dozens of riders' hopes and dreams and left them crumpled and broken on the side of the road in the past and their skeletons are still visible on the side of the road. Could these three break the Curse of the Final 1 Mile Climb?
As the 3 stomped up the first more difficult part of the never-ending Incline, Raines and Ruhe surged clear and still held a tenuous 10 second gap. But behind, Magner, Travieso, Cobra Cornett, Gritty Grainy, Cool Hand Luke Harris, Scarano, James Noori Easter, Brick Dangerblade and other blackhearted n'er-do-wells were in full flight with the bit between their teeth, and with the line in sight, caught and flew past the heartbroken Double R's. Tytus jumped hard near the center with 200 meters to go and Big Frank matched on the far side, and as the 2 powered to the line, thighs jamming, chest humping, elbows flailing, chin jackhammering, snot flying, the Cuban Missile pulled clear and scored his record breaking 27th lifetime win, proving he remains El Maximo Jefe in the WBL. Behind, Scarano blitzed by a grief-stricken Magner, with Cobra, Gutcheck and Cool Hand Luke Harris rounding out the top 6. On the Ladies side of the ledger, Alexis Aint California Dreamin No More Magner again dominated the fold, winning the day and locking up 2nd in the HUB Overall with a stellar WBL season. Close behind was the irrepressible Ashley the Photog Gruber, who also locked down 4th Place in the Overall. Behind these 2 Wonderwomen followed current and future femmes fatales Izzie Thin Lizzie, Harden, Carlie Cop-Coop Cooper, Jenny Jen-Jen, Roseanna-Dana Walton. Great Ride Shoutout to All!
Parks Law Lula Finish:
1. Travieso
2. Scarano
3. Tytus
4. Cobra Cornett
5. Gutcheck
6. Luke Harris
Parks Law Lula Ladies:
1. A Magner
2. A Gruber
3. Izzie Harden
4. Carlie Cooper
5. Jenny Jen-Jen
6. Dana Walton
Parks Law Lula Non Pro
1. Big Frank
2. Gutcheck
3. Luke Harris
4. Julien Ruhe the Day
5. James Noori Easter
OVERALL
Place |
Last |
First |
OVERALL |
1 |
Gruber |
Gutcheck |
197 |
2 |
Magner |
Alexis |
155.5 |
3 |
Travieso |
Frank |
108 |
4 |
Gruber |
Ashley |
97 |
5 |
Grainy |
Brandon |
89 |
6 |
Cooper |
Carlie |
86 |
7 |
Scarano |
Andy |
85 |
8 |
Magner |
Tytus |
70 |
9 |
Ruhe |
Julian |
64 |
10 |
Sanders |
Michael |
63 |
11 |
Cornett |
Brendan |
58 |
12 |
Morrison |
Tommy |
51 |
13 |
Crumley |
Frank |
50 |
14 |
Desevaux |
Cyril |
50 |
15 |
Brown |
Thomas |
46 |
16 |
Carabello |
Charlie |
46 |
17 |
Martin |
John |
46 |
18 |
Baynes |
Gatewood |
44 |
19 |
Pfeiffer |
Frank |
44 |
20 |
Gartvig |
Ivan |
42 |
21 |
von Dziembowski |
Conrad |
41 |
22 |
Harden |
Izzie |
38 |
23 |
Pineda |
Reggie |
37 |
24 |
Black |
Kelly |
36 |
25 |
Kirkland |
Lemuel (Buck) |
34 |
26 |
Dale |
James |
33 |
27 |
Eye |
Preston |
32 |
28 |
Harris |
Luke |
32 |
29 |
Lindsey |
Dylan |
32 |
30 |
Bencosme |
Cirilo |
30 |
31 |
Crabbe |
Matthew |
30 |
32 |
Meyer |
AJ |
28 |
33 |
Thornton-Brooks |
Jenny |
27 |
34 |
Dale |
Nick |
26 |
35 |
Terry |
Pj |
26 |
36 |
Frink |
Brad |
25 |
37 |
King |
Joshua |
24 |
38 |
Hobbs |
Abby |
23.5 |
39 |
Dangerblade |
Brick |
22 |
40 |
Clark |
Stephanie |
18 |
41 |
Dunn |
Natty |
18 |
42 |
Kolbie |
Benny |
18 |
43 |
Lang |
Rebecca |
15 |
44 |
Myatt |
Mackenzie |
15 |
45 |
Niwinski |
Noah |
15 |
46 |
Brookins |
Butch |
14 |
47 |
connors |
evan |
14 |
48 |
Godwin |
Sarah |
14 |
49 |
Pridgen |
Jordan |
14 |
50 |
Saunders |
Will |
14 |
51 |
Crabbe |
Mason |
12 |
52 |
Lawson |
Dylan |
11 |
53 |
Magner |
Casey |
11 |
54 |
Schramm |
Louie |
10 |
55 |
Rajcoomar |
Ravi |
9 |
56 |
Beuchel |
Mike |
8 |
57 |
Brown |
Bruce Lightning |
8 |
|